Friday, 10 September 2010

Anticipation - sometimes good sometimes bad

Learn Something New Every Day certainly makes you think. I didn't write anything for 8th September or 9th and this morning I found myself mentally groaning because I didn't want to go back and think about what I had learnt. Not because it was too much trouble but because I was sure that delving into what I was thinking on either of those days was A Bad Thing.
The reason, I realised is because of tomorrow, September 11th. It brings my dad into the forefront of my memory and I just don't deal with that too well.
On that date - 9-11 - he stood infront of the TV in the kitchen and cried as he watched events unfold. It is the only time I have ever seen any emotion other than anger on my dad's face and it really affected me.
I am anticipating the emotional mix that I will feel on the day and increasing it by worrying - now how stupid is that? To be worrying about how I will feel three days before I need to instead of just letting it happen.
So my lesson for today is to get out my worry list and start using it again. That way I will be back in control.

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