Tuesday, 19 July 2011
Explore - day two. A postcard
This holiday was a big adventure simply because of what had gone on before it. I was ill with Myalgicencephalomyelitis (ME) for about ten years until 1997 when it began to recede. I was just at the stage when I considered myself "back to normal" when circumstances meant that my elderly parents came to live with us. By 2001 I was clinging to my sanity and teetering on the egde of mental exhaustion. My parents moved to a care home and I began the struggle with agoraphobia. My Dad died in 2003 followed by Mum in 2006 and by that time I just didn't go out.
All this time Mr M was being a constant support and NEVER complaining. By 2008 I was beginning to go out with him in the car, sometimes just up the road and back and sometimes to the home of my favourite cousin. Gradually the times I could stay out got longer and we reached a point where my eldest son offered us the use of his time-share apartment in Cornwall for a week. I will gloss over the journey down there except to say I managed it. Then there were things like strange beds and shower rooms and french doors and different furniture. You get the picture?
On this day we went to the Lizard point and we walked along the path. I was clinging to Mr M and really scared because I don't do heights at all and this was a CLIFF TOP path.
Mr M said "Stand there and look brave and I'll take your picture to show everyone how brave you are"
So there I stand leaning on my walking stick at the edge of a cliff that is thousa....... about thirty metres high and I wasn't afraid because I was so concerned that everyone who saw the picture would see how fat I had become!
That was the turning point. From then on going out has become easier, the panic attacks are rare now, although we still talk of the one I had in Fowey and regard that as the benchmark for all others, and I can walk to the school across the road to collect my granddaughter most days from school.
So this is my most significant adventure and the one I would have written home about if I hadn't written it all in the holiday journal