Tuesday, 19 July 2011

Explore - day two. A postcard

I have trawled through loads of postcards from various adventures and also read again the holiday journals. It is very hard to choose just one event as a significant adventure because they all have significance. I finally chose this picture, even though it is not a postcard, because it has all the significance in it for those people who know the background.
This holiday was a big adventure simply because of what had gone on before it. I was ill with Myalgicencephalomyelitis (ME) for about ten years until 1997 when it began to recede. I was just at the stage when I considered myself "back to normal" when circumstances meant that my elderly parents came to live with us. By 2001 I was clinging to my sanity and teetering on the egde of mental exhaustion. My parents moved to a care home and I began the struggle with agoraphobia. My Dad died in 2003 followed by Mum in 2006 and by that time I just didn't go out.
All this time Mr M was being a constant support and NEVER complaining. By 2008 I was beginning to go out with him in the car, sometimes just up the road and back and sometimes to the home of my favourite cousin. Gradually the times I could stay out got longer and we reached a point where my eldest son offered us the use of his time-share apartment in Cornwall for a week. I will gloss over the journey down there except to say I managed it. Then there were things like strange beds and shower rooms and french doors and different furniture. You get the picture?
On this day we went to the Lizard point and we walked along the path. I was clinging to Mr M and really scared because I don't do heights at all and this was a CLIFF TOP path.
Mr M said "Stand there and look brave and I'll take your picture to show everyone how brave you are"
So there I stand leaning on my walking stick at the edge of a cliff that is thousa....... about thirty metres high and I wasn't afraid because I was so concerned that everyone who saw the picture would see how fat I had become!
That was the turning point. From then on going out has become easier, the panic attacks are rare now, although we still talk of the one I had in Fowey and regard that as the benchmark for all others, and I can walk to the school across the road to collect my granddaughter most days from school.
So this is my most significant adventure and the one I would have written home about if I hadn't written it all in the holiday journal

7 comments:

6ichthusfish said...

What an amazing story. Thanks for being so brave and sharing it. See you in class,
Mandy McK (Moogie of4)

Kirsty.a said...

Congratulations on your recovery and on your bravery for blogging about it

Mary B said...

Well done indeed that is some achievement and I had to laugh at the remark that you weren't scared because you were more concerned that folks would think you are fat. I don't see the fatness just the joy in your face.

Sandie said...

What a lovely post, Annie. You have come on so far and dealt with so much. What an achievement. Enjoy your grandchildren and I hope you continue on your adventure and have more to tell in the future.

Andie said...

You sound like an amazing woman. I read this post with a lump in my throat as my mum has ME, she struggles some days to get out of bed and often has to use a wheel chair when she goes out. You are an inspiration! Thank you for sharing. x

Ali said...

You are indeed a brave lady, thanks for sharing your story, and hope you enjoy all your journals, your dad was a wise man.

Lisa Echerd said...

Wow that was a big adventure for you after what you went through. Thanks for sharing your struggles. You have an inspiring story.